North Korea CLEAR Cancels Their AGM
Author: James Collins
As you may have seen we reported on the shockingly minimalist effort of CLEAR Cannabis Law Reform to pretend they were to hold their first Annual General Meeting for a couple of years. Yes, it takes years for them to put a meeting together, even an “annual” meeting. Maybe all that crap Peter Reynolds likes to spout about lazy stoners has a grain of truth. These guys can’t even pull their shit together enough for a pub night.
They did it, though, in their own special little way. They had an online discussion group that they were passing off as a “meeting”, despite the total lack of anybody actually meeting one another. I guess that’s what happens when your President “irrevocable until death” is an alcoholic, paranoid shut-in. He should make a great Prime Minister one day.
Now, don’t get me wrong, having an online connection to a live meeting would be cutting edge. A few webcams and a display for people to Tweet or otherwise message their contributions in from afar would have been pretty slick. It would have been like E3 or ComiCon or something! Imagine a virtual online presence seamlessly meshed with a real flesh-peddling event. The future is here.
Maybe the future isn’t quite here. You can put your Dick Tracy camera phone watch back in the time machine now; there will be no live/digital hybrid AGM for CLEAR. It’s just a members forum on their website, which like everything else CLEAR does, lacks transparency altogether. The irony of having a name like CLEAR and a closed-door policy on meetings is lost on the brain trust of this illustrious organization.
As fortune would have it, we at PRW have been privy to the inside of these discussions in great detail. I was holding back my commentary until the grand finale, when they replaced the live performance portion of the AGM with some copyright-infringing YouTube videos of other real people in real places doing real things. It didn’t get that far. It didn’t even get to day one. When some mischievous little bugger joined their group and started posting screen shots of the rather mundane goings on within the pre-meeting CLEAR shut the entire thing down.
Maybe this has to do with the fact that they have amended their constitution to make Peter Reynolds President for Life, using the phrase “irrevocable until death” to describe the term of this position. Well, they were proposed before an online audience of socks now disbanded for having been exposed. Now, having read these constitutional changes I am going to have to look up an email address for Kim Jong Un. I’m pretty sure that wording was ripped straight out of the North Korean documents of state. There could be some kind of intellectual property rights issue here.
Unless, that is, they got permission from Jong Un himself. I suppose that is possible. Peter likes to talk about how he is meaningfully engaging the political process. To be honest, he doesn’t always specify which political process in which nation he has engaged. His tactics are decidedly dictatoresque, minus the strength and charisma of somebody like Kim Jong Un.
Peter just doesn’t have the shoulders for military wear.
Derek Williams, CLEAR tech-guru and Peter Reynolds’ personal lap dog has responded to the closure of the AGM. He feels that the entire affair was a success. Now, to put this in context, Derek has a heroic capacity to spin failure into success. It is the magic behind the shit-eating grin he is wearing on his profile pic at the “AGM”. He feels this helped CLEAR identify their core members, with anonymous accounts featuring such real names as “alienbutler” and “monty78pig”. Just like any real political party meeting, everyone has a pig mask and an ounce of cocaine stuffed up their ass.
Derek claims that they had a good turnout. 43 people were the best they could get to sign up for an online meeting with a two-week timeframe in the “largest membership based drugs reform organization in the UK”. Remember how Peter likes to use that phrase? Apparently 43 people are now a big turnout for an event you don’t have to shower or change out of your pajamas for. How very big indeed.
Derek claims real meetings don’t happen anymore. It just isn’t the way of the world. He clearly isn’t aware of the fact that every industry holds conferences. Every political party has physical meetings. Every segment of fandom has physical meetings of some kind, including comic book conventions, gaming conferences and competitions, and even cosplay itself has become a thriving culture on its own. One does not dress up as Batman to go to an online ComiCon.
That’s right, even basement-dwelling World of Warcraft shut-ins get out once a year to dress up as superheroes and meet each other in person. CLEAR is slightly less serious than a herd of geeks in tights and foam rubber shoulder pads.
Aside from the obvious financial issues, Peter wasting too much donation money on legal action to hold a meeting, there is a big reason CLEAR has no real meeting. There is a meme circulating featuring the entire executive of CLEAR at one of the smoke outs they spend so much time trashing on their website. Every member of the executive and all lifetime fellows, except one – El Presidente Peter Reynolds.
CLEAR wouldn’t have a real meeting for the same reason they trash smoke outs which the executive personally attends. Peter Reynolds isn’t willing to go out in public now that he is a pariah amongst so many cannabis users. As such he is steering policy at Castle CLEAR to reflect his own bogus apologetics on the subject. CLEAR doesn’t actually have a problem with meetings, rather it is only Peter Reynolds who does and all other members of the party are expected to fall into lockstep. Derek himself will talk out of both sides of his ass on the topic.
Derek goes to the event, doesn’t believe in the event, thinks it is not a bad idea, thinks it could be more effective, thinks it is a waste of time, and really it’s all about tobacco. CLEAR should just change their name. They aren’t about cannabis law reform. They are about banning the use of tobacco and Spice, paying for Peter and his lawsuits, and giving Derek a captive audience he can pretend are his friends.
The stuffed animals around Derek’s tea set have begun rolling their eyes at his anecdotes as of late. He needs to expand into new venues.
Within the AGM they actually discuss in some detail the issue of what it is CLEAR does. They don’t do live meetings, they don’t do elections anymore since the shame they suffered during Corby, and all lobbying activities shall be private. That’s right, you have to take their word that they are doing something. It’s very important. They can’t tell you what it is, or the absurdity of their comic-book plans might be exposed, but dammit you’re going to have to keep making donations to ensure it happens.
When Peter says he is engaging with the Government he means he is suing other activists for exposing him as the cut-rate buffoon he really is. He is wasting his time and your money pursuing actions which get tossed out summarily before they even get a hearing before a judge, entirely to service his own massive cocaine-fueled ego. CLEAR isn’t about cannabis, the law, reform, or anything else it proposes to stand for. CLEAR is about making Peter feel like a man, and they can’t even pull that one off without the shiny veneer of the Internet.[Note to reader: The above characterizations of cosplayers and comic book fans as “geeks in tights” was meant to draw attention to Peter’s derisive attitude towards all counterculture. I am in no way genuinely demeaning those with the creativity and gumption to craft their own costumes and attend conventions with other fans. I think anyone so creative should be encouraged and supported. All remarks about Derek Williams and Peter Reynolds which appear to be deleterious to their character were intended as such and can be taken at face value.]